According to a report written by Ashley Barrient and published in the Journal of American Medical Association Pediatrics, children are overwhelmed by weight and dieting talk, and feel that they can’t change the numbers on the scale.
Being someone who has been overweight right from early childhood, gone through it as a teenager, and is still dealing with weight issues in my mid-fifties, I would like to talk about this saddening problem.
Parents should try their best to educate themselves about nutrition, binge eating, shame, obesity, and building a positive body image for their teens. Doing so will enable them to understand those over-processed foods are very addictive and that the addiction can last a lifetime, even continuing beyond weight loss.
Understanding that your kid is dealing with a lifelong illness, like epilepsy or Crohn’s Disease, can deter the parent from going for quick fixes. I dropped 36 lbs the vacation between my freshman and second year in high school by doing the hCG diet, on which I was eating about 500 calories and doing 4 hours of exercise every day. Everyone in my family believed it was fantastic.
The truth is, it wasn’t.
Once I got back to school, the peer pressure and high school food culture halted my dreams of skinny jeans. Guess what happened next?
I regained all the weight and then some more. A 15-year old teenager can’t stick to that type of regimen, and my parents did not know they ought to have encouraged me to take between 1200 to 1500 calories per day to get the nutrition I needed to grow.
I was size eight at the end of the six-week stint. But when I went back to school, I was still defeated by those slim girls who appeared to weigh between 115 to 120 lbs. That 120 pounds troubled me for many years. My expectations were unreasonable unless I was willing to part with a limb.
I don’t think my parents are to blame for this. Instead, the culture that placed too much emphasis on the ultra-skinny is to blame.
Food comfort is linked to neuroscience
Substance abuse researchers say that the brain adaptions that result from regularly eating so-called hyper-palatable foods (foods that layer salt, fat, and sweet flavors), are proven to increase consumption. This pattern is often more challenging to change than cocaine or alcohol because they involve many more neural pathways. Not to mention there’s no negative connotation around food that exists around drugs and alcohol. Also, almost 90% of the brain’s reward center’s dopamine receptors activate in response to food cues.
Brand-new research also shows direct evidence of lasting and fundamental injuries to a part of the brain that helps us regulate our food intake. Within three days of being placed on a high-fat diet including carbohydrates, a rat’s hypothalamus shows increased inflammation; within a week, researchers see evidence of permanent scarring and neuron injury in an area of the brain crucial for weight control.
The hypothalamus is the brain area that responds to the hormones that signal hunger and satiety, regulate weight, and govern maternal bonding and specific social behavior. Brain scans of obese men and women show this exact pattern as well.
The information we’ve garnered from PET and fMRI scans shows that food addicts suffer from a lack of dopamine receptors, which implies significant impairment in reward and motivation, as happened to me. Back in high school, I was a shy student, had few friends, and was very depressed. I lived a life of self-hatred and envy that only more food could help subside.
Reflecting on that miserable time, I’ve some suggestions I would like to offer.
1. Engage kids in Exercises and Sports
Parents need to check out every form of exercise available in their locality and, if financially capable, offer their kids whatever options they find interesting. My parents were golf lovers, whereas I found the sport incredibly boring. Had they provided a more exciting sport, like swimming, horse-riding, or tennis, I would have been excited. My parents loved to sail in the summer, and although I enjoyed being on the boat with them, I never learned how to sail as my older brothers did.
2. Try to arrange for a personal trainer or a place where your kids feel more fitting
Kids love thrills, joy, and speed. Parents have to take a decisive step when it comes to their children’s exercise. I engaged in ballet in my high school days but was clearly neglected for future ballet events.
- Could my parent have arranged for private ballet lessons for me?
- Were there any other movement classes where my larger size could have been an advantage?
- Could they have organized such groups for me or pressured my school to encourage those who are less physically fit to partake in those activities without making them feel bad about themselves?
In those days, there was no gym in my hometown, but I would definitely consider taking my kid to a personal trainer now that there are a lot of gyms around. I would inform the trainer to focus on strength training and other sports that my child might wish to engage in outside the gym.
2. Make dinner together a jolly experience
In my family, we loved to eat dinner together and enjoyed sharing jokes with one another. I recommend that you do this as often as possible and keep the discussion neutral and positive. Laughter boosts your dopamine level, creating a sense of euphoria and motivating us to continue a behavior. So, keep it strong.
3. Engage your kids in fun-filled activities
Whether your teen is overweight or not, always try to keep an open house for your kid and his/her buddies.
You should have a lot of healthy snacks at home and cut down your child’s screen time as much as possible. Have enough music, board games, and outdoor games like badminton, croquet, horseshoes, and water games in the house. These sports are not extremely competitive, and although these activities don’t make you burn a lot of calories, they’re vertical and away from devices and food.
They are also dopamine-positive workouts with an emphasis on laughter, fun, and challenge.
4. Food doesn’t have to be the only way to celebrate
When it’s time for special events, look for ways other than foods to celebrate. Rent a cabin for a weekend or buy your teenager something he/she has always wanted for a hobby. Take him/her to the theater or go out for dinner. Make it a day or night to remember for your kid.
5. Depression is a big red flag
Look out for signs of depression in your overweight teenager. This is a delicate area and how you proceed will depend on your relationship. A healthy step is to help them find a therapist they’re comfortable with. It may take meeting a few to find the right fit but it will be worth it.
6. Encourage their positive sides
Place more emphasis on all the positive things your overweight teenager does and finds interest in. If he/she is a brilliant student or has a knack for activities like woodworking or sewing, let that be the topic of your conversation, not food or weight. If your teen loves to read, ask him or her to read to you after meals.
7. Goal setting may not help them
Do not promise to give your child something only when they are thin. Beautiful clothes are available nowadays in every size. Encourage your teen to dress in a flattering manner and don’t deny them the joy that comes with wearing good clothes. If it is a travel opportunity you want to offer, do it now! While it may seem like goal setting to you, to your teen it sends a strong signal that you’re not deserving now but when you’re skinnier you will be.
8. Are they going through teenage issues?
Pay attention to other teen issues. Your female child may be having issues with her menstrual periods due to her weight. Have her checked by a doctor but warn him/her not to use the F-word and opt for the H-word instead. If the issue is acne, a visit to a good dermatologist can also help. As a teen, these small issues compound into larger problems.
9. Meditation – the old age proven method
Teach your teen to meditate. Whether it’s an activity you do together or you enroll them in meditation classes. Studies have shown that meditation can increase the muscularity of executive brain functions, including willpower.
10. Get them Pets
Your teen is not too young to own a pet. Bonding with pets is a dopamine (oxytocin and serotonin) booster. And note that walking a puppy is…walking and exercise!
11. Let them feel the thrill!
Seek adventures! Water rafting was one of the most memorable experiences I had growing up, despite how embarrassed I was at being forced into a life jacket. Will your overweight teen fit in a carnival ride? Find out in advance to avoid humiliating circumstances. However, if he or she does fit in, go for it! If you are scared of these things, look for someone who will take them instead.
12. Encourage them to go with what they long for
Encourage your kid to dream. What does he/she have on the bucket list? Where would he/she love to visit? Please encourage your child to jot it down so that the dreams can be accessible without putting a damper on his or her future plans because of weight.
13. Take them to the sports they like
Does your child have an interest in basketball or classical music or musical comedy or rodeo? Take her to where he/she can watch or possibly partake in them. Although the food is not always the best, the spectator experience is fun and enlightening.
14. They are capable!
Whenever the subject does come up, please take a leaf from my parents who always said: “When the time is right, you’ll take care of this. I know you will. You are a strong person. And I will help if you ask.”
And allow your teen to know that you accept and love him/her unconditionally. If you need additional support or structured options to help your teen with weight loss and nutritional aspects, contact us for a free consultation today.
